Faith, the Future, and Finding Lost Things

Also titled: "Can God Just Give Abby a Break?"

I'd like to share with you a few things I have learned this week.

Number One: I don't care. No, I'm not having a nervous breakdown. I'm not in a serious clinical depression that needs immediate intervention. But I have discovered that there are a few specific things that I just really don't care much about. This came to me as I was driving down our road yesterday after a long day at the doctor's office with Abby. My 12 year old SUV is in need of new tires and work on the exhaust and it makes a lot of noise...rattling both under the hood and on the inside. I guess I was grumbling to myself that I really need a new car. I pulled up in the driveway and let out a huge sigh knowing through the door on my beautiful front porch awaited a sink full of dishes, piles of laundry and more dust than Oklahoma in the 1930's. I sat for a moment, and that is when it hit me: I don't care. I honestly could care less about the things of this world.

Jesus told us not to store up treasures here, but in heaven (Matt. 6:19-21), because our heart is where our treasure is. I didn't set out to make the things of earth not matter. But over the past few years, my heart has transitioned (or better yet, been transformed) to longing for heaven. This has come from the many trials God has put in my path. I'm tired, but plodding onward knowing that the goal is so very worth it. Because I know that in the end, I have a glorious eternity in the presence of our Lord. As I become more homesick for heaven , my attitude toward "things" slowly follows. So even though I most likely need a newer car, I don't worry about it. And while I do want to take care of my home and make it a peaceful, inviting place to be, I don't worry so much about my furniture being hand-me-down or my curtains not matching my comforter.

I do care very much about people. And dogs. And brownies and fudge (no nuts, please). And I care a lot about other things that God cares about. But I don't care that my car is rattley and that dust bunnies have found safe haven under my couch. Because, truly, my heart is not even here.

Number Two: There is a reason Jesus told us to have faith like a child. Jesus actually tells us to "change and become like little children" (Matt 18:3) and to receive the Kingdom of God like a child (see passages in Mark and Luke in the previous link). If you really listen to a child, their faith is so pure, so complete. They do think about what they are taught and they ask hard questions (then wait expectantly while we fumble around for answers). But they also pray with a boldness and an intimacy with the Lord that many of us have lost.

Our youngest, Abby, has been battling leukemia for almost five years. This has been a roller coaster....certainly the hardest thing our family has faced. Abby's bloodwork was not what the doctor expected to see last week, so he scheduled a bone marrow aspiratation to gain a sample of her marrow to send off for testing. When I told our son about this, he held his hands high in the air, lifted his face toward heaven and said in exasperation, "When will we be done with this?" A sweet friend of Abby's also heard the news of this test and the need to pray for the results. She said, "Mom, can God just give Abby a break?"

Bold. Honest. No fluff, no ritual, no holding back. Jesus tells me I need to change to be like this as I approach Him. These two precious kids prayed what I have been yelling in my brain for years. Not "Why?" Not "What are you thinking, God?" Just "Peace, please Lord."

Number Three: "Baby Jesus lost and found, please bring _____ back around." I needed to find a lost thing for Bible study. My friend and co-leader recited that little poem over the phone to me as I was searching my house. She said it always worked for her daughter, you just fill in the blank with the lost item, such as "my keys" or "Teddy bear." I thought it sounded like a line from a very old child's poetry book crossed with Ricky Bobby's prayers in "Talladega Nights". But guess what. It worked! Before I even hung up the phone I had knew I needed to go look out in our barn. And there it was...not in plain sight necessarily, but my eyes went right to it.

My lost thing. Seriously. It was right there. Maybe Ricky Bobby was on to something.